'yeah yeah, this is Ice T, on behalf of the GLC, if you don't like words like: drippy willy, front bottom, runny poo, skid-mark, big brown skid-mark, big brown skid-mark in yo mommas pants, then don't listen to this mutha fukin' album'

to the GLC fans, get with our fukin' clan
we're the ones who censors tried to ban
saying our shit was far too sick
'fuk you all, clarts, suck my dick!'

now, Wa-Balls don't care so why should i
i'll chuck you out the building, lets see if you can fly
just cos we're 'Port, you thinks we're rough
and you thought that last LP was sucked(?)

you ain't heard nothing like us before
so now you says you want some more
so sit right back and smoke some draw
here it is, clart, your personal encore

it's the GLC and the word is born
all the girlies love me and they got the horn
they wanna sex me up like Mr. T
and i think it's because i'm in the GLC

i met Miss Argos up Voodoo(?)
i bought her three pints and she fuked me in the loo
her name's Jolene, she's a dirty bitch
i fuked her twice, she made my cock itch

i knows this bird, she's into bum love
she pulled the skin so hard, she pulled it off like a glove
yeah, i know the one you mean, she's a dirty slag
she only fuked me so she could smoke the rest of my fag

if you don't like this, put it away, cos the GLC's here and it's here to stay

'yeah, this is Ice T, and if you don't like this album, then get ready for the word 'fannys' comin' up'

i was pumping this bird in the back of my car
she was screaming really loads and my penis was hard
i started screaming and she did too
next thing i know we're covered in crazy sticky glue

'what is this stuff?', i asked her about
and she said, 'don't matter' and started to shout
it again and again and she loves to drink it up
she likes to eat it mostly when it's coagulated in a cup

Adam Hussain's got so much fukin' come
my balls are swollen up, firing spunk like a gun
now i knew this girl, Jolene, she's a right fukin' whore
i knew it was true when she fuked my labrador

i met Jolene when i was just thirteen
but she smashed up my cock and made it turn green
now she's living down Mays Glass(?)
and she's making me put things up her ass

if you don't like this, put it away, cos the GLC's here and it's here to stay

'yo, yo, i told ya, Ice T, recommending not to listen to the words, front bum or ass'

i can do the sun crossword cos i'm really clever
but page three's always stuck together
i loves to pump vadge in the style of an ape
i loves it when it's open and it's starting to gape
i looks inside, it looks kinda funny
so i gets my hands, and grabs her fukin' curry

Hussain's the name and i got no shame
especially when i'm shagging tarts on the game
i once had a bird and she took it up the bum
she had a blonde perm and her name was Sharon
i fuked her up the ass and she thought i was pucker
she even licked my purple headed yoghurt chucker
but i had to dump her, i couldn't really complain
cos she's already given head to my clart, P Xain

if you don't like this, put it away, cos the GLC's here and it's here to stay

'if you're still listening, then god help you, cos right now i'm gonna say..cl*t rub'

fukin''ell boys, hand me the bus fare home
i met this bird and she gimme a bone
i gotta get back to her place tonight
cos her vadge is dripping loads and my penis is just right

my cock and her vadge then started to merge
then my penis started to splurge
'my name's DCI, from Sunhill
now i'm just fuking down in Pil'

i been down there fukin' three times before
i seen a bird, she's a fukin' dirty whore
she sucked my dick and made it stiff
i spunked over her tits really sticky shit

'what do you reckon of that tune there, Ice T?'

'Ice T recommends the goldie lookin' chain, take your pants off'

'that's fukin' safe as fuk, that is'

'er, Ice T, what's that TV show what you're in?'

'it's a cop show, er, i can't remember the name right now'

'what's it called, clart?'

'something like, TJ Hooker, i don't know, i-ican't remember it too good right now...jet-lag'

'i've heard that you's the fukin' original gangster, is that fukin' true or what?'

'no'

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